Everywhere Signs!
  
                        RESTROOM SIGNS
 
 Friends don't let friends take home ugly men
 -Women's restroom, Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE
 
 The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
 -Women's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL
 
 Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.
 -Men's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL
 
 If you can piss this high, join the fire department. 
 On the wall in the men's restroom at a height of 6 feet.
 -O'Ryan's Irish Pub.  Ashland, Oregon.
 
 Beauty is only a light switch away.
 -Perkins Library.  Duke University.  Durham, North Carolina.
 
 I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards.
 -Houghton Library, Harvard University.  Cambridge, Massachusetts.
 
 If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all
 get wasted together and have the time of our lives.
 -Armand's Pizza.  Washington, DC
 
 Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?"
 -Rest stop off Route 81.  West Virginia.
 
 God made pot.  Man made beer.  Who do you trust?
 -The Irish Times.  Washington, DC
 
 Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
 -The Bayou, Baton Rouge, Louisiana.
 
 No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting
 up with her shit.
 -Men's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill.  Chapel Hill, North Carolina.
 
 To do is to be. -Descartes
 To be is to do. -Voltaire
 Do be do be do. -Frank Sinatra
 -Men's restroom, Greasewood Flats.  Scottsdale, Arizona.
 
 At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry.
 -Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, Arizona.
 
 It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
 -Written in the dust on the back of a bus. Wickenburg, Arizona.
 
 Make love, not war.-Hell, do both, get married!
 -Women's restroom, The Filling Station.  Bozeman, Montana.
 
 God is dead. -Nietzsche
 Nietzsche is dead. -God
 -The Tombs Restaurant.  Washington, DC
 
 If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
 -Revolution Books.  New York, New York.
 
 A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to
 have trouble with it.
 -Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort.  Dallas, Texas.
 
 JESUS SAVES!  But wouldn't it be better if he had invested?
 -Men's restroom, American University.  Washington, DC
 
 A drinking girl I'm not.
 One or two at the most.
 Three, I'm under the table.
 Four, I'm under the host.
 -Women's restroom, Cook's Corners, Cota de Casa, CA 
 
 If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?
 Congress!
 -Men's restroom, House of Representatives.  Washington, D.C.
 
 Express Lane: Five beers or less
 -Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic's.  Phoenix, AZ.
 
 You're too good for him.
 -Sign over mirror in Women's restroom, Ed Debevic's.  Beverly Hills, CA.
 
 No wonder you always go home alone.
 -Sign over mirror in Men's restroom, Ed Debevic's.  Beverly Hills, CA.