A husband walked into Victoria's Secret to purchase a sheer 
     negligee for his wife.   

      He was shown several possibilities that ranged from $250 to 
     $500 in price, the more sheer, the higher the price. 
               
      Naturally, he opted for the most sheer item, paid the $500, 
     and took it home.  He presented it to his wife and asked her 
     to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him. 
               
      Upstairs, the wife thought: "I have an idea.  It's so sheer 
     that it might as well be nothing.  I won't put it on, but I'll do the modeling naked, 
     return it tomorrow, and keep the $500 refund for myself." 
               
      She appeared naked on the balcony and struck a pose. 

      The husband said:  ''Good Grief! You'd think for $500, 
     they'd at least iron it!" 
               
      He never heard the shot. 
               
      The funeral is on Thursday at noon.  Closed coffin.