JOKES2
 

  Subject: Men Wisdom
  (sorry guys)
  
  How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do
  the dishes?

  Both of them.
  ********************
  How does a man show that he is planning for the future?

  He buys two cases of beer.
  *********************
  Why are blonde jokes so short?

  So men can remember them.
  ***********************
  How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

  We don't know; it has never happened.
  ************************
  Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good
  looking?

  They all already have boyfriends.
  ***************************
  What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?

  A widow.
  ****************************
  Why are married women heavier than single women?

  Single women come home, see what's in the refrigerator and go to bed.
  Married women come home, see what's in their bed and go to the
  refrigerator. 
  *****************************
  How do you get a man to do sit-ups?

  Put the remote control between his toes.
  ******************************
  How are men and parking spots alike?

  Good ones are always taken.  Free ones are mostly handicapped or
  extremely small. 
  *******************************
  A woman of 35 thinks of having children.  What does a man of 35 think
  of?

  Dating children.
  *******************************
  How can you tell soap operas are fictional?

  In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.
  ********************************
  Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?

  To stop the snoring before it starts.
  ***********************************
  Why don't men have mid-life crisis?

  They're stuck in adolescence.
  ************************************
  How is being in a singles bar different from going to the circus?

  At the circus the clowns don't talk.
  ************************************
  What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

  The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of
  driving. 
  *************************************
  What do you do with a bachelor that thinks he's God's gift?

  Exchange him.
  **************************************
  Why are husbands like lawn mowers?

  They are hard to get started, emit foul odors and don't work half the
  time. 
  **************************************
  What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

  After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.