Obituary

Today we mourn the passing of an old friend, Common Sense. Common 
Sense lived a long life, but recently died in the United States. He 
selflessly devoted his life to helping people get jobs done without 
fanfare or foolishness.

For decades, petty rules, silly laws, and frivolous lawsuits had no 
power over Common Sense. He was credited with cultivating such valued 
lessons as to know when to come in out of the rain, why the early 
bird gets the worm, and that life isn't always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend 
more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (the adults are 
in charge, not the kids/it's okay to come in second). A veteran of 
the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the 
Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and 
educational trends including body piercing, whole language, and "new 
math." But his health declined when he became infected with the 
"if-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it" virus.

In recent decades his waning strength proved no match for the ravages 
of well intentioned but overbearing regulations. His health rapidly 
deteriorated when schools implemented zero tolerance policies. 
Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for 
kissing a classmate, a teen suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash 
after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student 
only worsened his condition.

He declined even further when schools had to get parental consent to 
administer aspirin to a student but could not inform the parent when 
a female student was pregnant or wanted an abortion.

When a woman who was too stupid to realize that a steaming cup of 
coffee was hot was awarded a huge settlement, Common Sense threw in 
the towel. As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of 
logic but was kept informed of developments regarding questionable 
regulations such as those for low flow toilets, rocking chairs, 
stepladders and auto emissions.

Common Sense finally succumbed when, while the United States was 
fighting a war on terrorism, a federal judge declared the Pledge of 
Allegiance to be unconstitutional.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; 
his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, 
Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers: My Rights, and Ima Whiner.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.


  Thank You and God Bless!
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