SOME GREAT THINGS ABOUT GROWING OLDER

* Your investment in health insurance is finally
  beginning to pay off.

* Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

* People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

* Your secrets are safe with your friends, because
  they can't remember them.

* Your supply of brain cells is finally down to
  manageable size.

* Your eyes won't get much worse.

* Things you buy now won't wear out.

* No one expects you to run into a burning building.

* There's nothing left to learn the hard way.

* Your joints are more accurate then the National
  weather Service.

* In a hostage situation you likely are to be released
  first.