telephone
 
 
 The telephone rings and an answering machine answers...
 "Welcome to the psychiatric hotline."

 If you are obsessive compulsive, please press one 
 repeatedly.
 If you are co-dependant, please ask someone to press 2.
 If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5,
 and 6.
 If you are paranoid/delusional, we know who you are, 
 what you want,just stay on the line so that we can trace
 your call.
 If your are a schizophrenic, listen carefully, and a 
 little voice will tell you which number to press.
 If your are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which
 number you press....no one will answer anyways.