The Strudel & Speed Limit
 
 
 Moishe has been lying ill for weeks. A few days ago he slipped into a
 coma, 
 and everyone feared the worst. The family is called. The son from
 Miami.The 
 daughter from Bridgewater. The aunts. The uncles. All sit waiting for the 
 end.
 Suddenly a miracle! Moishe opens his eyes. Weakly he motions for his son
 to 
 approach so he can hear talk to him. Moishe is weak from the illness and
 so 
 his voice is very faint as he says, "I've been ill?" "Yes, papa," replies 
 the son with tears choking his voice, "very ill."
 The papa nods and speaks again.  "I had a dream. I was nearing death when
 I 
 suddenly smelled the aroma of your mother's apple strudel.  I love that 
 strudel. As wonderful a cook as my Sadie is, that strudel is her 
 masterpiece." He lays back against the pillow weak from the exertion of 
 speaking.
 "What a wonderful dream, papa. But the smell is real. Mama just took the 
 strudel out of the oven to cool." "A miracle!" cries Moishe as he tries to
 
 rise, and weakly falls against the pillows. He turns to his son and says, 
 "I'm still too weak to get up. Go to the kitchen and get for me a piece of
 
 Sadie's strudel."
 The son obediently rises and leaves the room to fulfill his father's 
 request, only to return a few moments later empty handed. He sits again by
 
 his father's side.
 Moishe looks at him and says, "Nu?  Where is the strudel?"
 The son replies, "I'm sorry, papa. Mama says it's for AFTER the funeral!"
 Submitted by Leon Taylor.
 
                                 -=+=-
 
 Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a 
 State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to 
 himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on 
 his lights and pulls the driver over.
 Approaching the car, he notices that there are five very old ladies - two 
 in the front seat and three in the back - wide-eyed and white as ghosts. 
  The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't
 understand. 
  I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?" 
 "Ma'am," the office replies, "You weren't speeding but you should know
 that 
 driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other
 drivers." 
 "Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit 
 exactly... Twenty-Two miles per hour!" the old woman says, a bit proudly.
 The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that
 
 "22" was the route number, not the speed limit.  A bit embarrassed, the 
 woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error. "But 
 before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car ok? 
 These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep 
 this whole time," the officer asks.
 "Oh, they'll be alright in a minute, officer. We just got off Route 119."